Damn, I haven’t posted anything in here for a while. But this time, I have a reason to post something.
On Twitter, I have an apology thread pinned to my account. But it didn’t talk about the darker stuff I did to myself after I did the biggest screw up of my life. On August 1st, 2020, instead of a private room, I went to a public Discord server and made a call out post to a Twitch streamer I have known for a very long time. A few hours after I did so, the feeling of regret hit. I am truly sorry for assuming things, saying those nasty insults, and worst of all, doing all that in public instead of private. On that day, a few hours after that was all done, I deleted the nasty tweet.
I wasn’t mad that I lost the mod role. I was fine that he didn’t want them anymore. I was only mad over the way he planned everything, but apparently, him and the others talked it out in vc and I was probably asleep. I’m not asking for forgiveness, and I’m not asking to come back into his community. My number one dream is for him to read everything I just typed, and then we can go our separate ways. He blocked me everywhere, so I am unable to.
This is probably gonna sound weird, but I made two punishments for myself. 1st one is I asked most of the people where I have the mod role if I could step down from it. I needed a break anyway.
The 2nd one is dark and might be a bit triggering. Ever since the mistake, my emotional state spiraled downward. It went down so far…that I started self harming. I only did it once. It’s currently healing. I thought it would be punishment for ruining one of the best friendships I ever had. I thought he would accept this as punishment. There will probably be a day in the future where I will relapse, because I deserve it. I’m not able to keep friends because I keep hurting them.
Oh my god fINALLY I get to draw something for myself again…Time for something winter-themed!! :D
Somewhere in the far future Guzma and El definitely took a weekend trip to Galar jUST to catch a Snom. And then 10 more of them. And then pray to Arceus they’ll get accustomed to Alolas warm temperatures… …W-what do you mean they’re blushing more in the second panel, t-that’s just the cold, I dONT KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT
